So drunk its hurt
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
