Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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