I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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