i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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