Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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