Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
