He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
