That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
