return my video game
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
FUCK WHALES
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