Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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