just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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