absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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