My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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