I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize