I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
