It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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