Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
