So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I understand Curling. That high.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
