Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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