i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
