Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
