I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
