hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
