he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
