this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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