We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
