on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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