I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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