it hurts more in the daytime
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
