just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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