Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize