FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
