If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
