he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize