and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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