Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize