sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
