...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
