Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
