I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Drake has all the answers
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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