She said her name was "party"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize