so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
