So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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