my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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