Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
