If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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