I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize