He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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