the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
