Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
