I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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