Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All I want is dick and wine.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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