the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
