I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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