Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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