This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
