He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The air was thick with penises
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
