I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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