I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
