I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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