Don't you send me to vm
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she looked like the before picture.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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